Every November we are bombarded by gratitude and being thankful for everything, which actually makes this time of the year my favorite and least favorite all at the same time. As a therapist I am taken back by the amazing feelings of love, abundance, joy, and connectedness that comes with this time of the year, and then am quickly reminded why I have a job working with people as I watch them fight over Black Friday deals. This is why I enjoy helping people connect to a deeper meaning to gratitude, which helps us far more than warm fuzzies during this time.
My understanding of Love and Gratitude grew immensely while studying the scientific discoveries of Dr. Masaru Emoto. For those of you unfamiliar with his work, early in his career he developed a way to freeze water droplets and photograph them. He then began to expose water to many different things, such as written word, spoken word, music, etc. What he found was that everything created a different outcome in the water droplets. For example kind words would create beautiful snowflake designs, that were all uniquely different shapes, details, and structure; whereas mean or hateful words created a photograph where the water would repel itself. This is obviously a very brief description of his amazing work, as he has many experiments that have been publish and repeated. In his latest book, Messages from Water and the Universe, he describes that Love and Appreciation (or gratitude) was by far the most beautiful and intricate water crystal created. He shares this thought that water is made up of H2O, 2 parts Hydrogen and 1 part Oxygen, is similar to our energetic experience with love and gratitude, 2 parts Gratitude and 1 part Love. For more information on the deeper meaning of love that expands beyond the limitations of the English language click here.
As I describe this next part, I want you to think of 2 different situations you have experienced. The first being a time you did something nice/gave love to someone who didn’t appreciate it, and the second is a time they genuinely appreciated what you did. It is important to think of these 2 situations and reflect on the difference you felt after each of them.
Dr. Emoto explained that when someone gives love to someone else it takes 1 part gratitude for that person to receive (feel, acknowledge, embrace) the love, and the other part of the gratitude is given back to the person who gave the love, thus replacing the 1 part love they gave away.
So now think of your 2 situations, in the first situation there is no gratitude or appreciation, which causes both parties to feel empty. The person who gave love feels empty, because it wasn’t appreciated (wanted, good enough, etc), and the person receiving the love feels empty because they don’t see someone as trying to help them. In the second situation, both feel full. The person who gave love feels appreciated and validated, and the person receiving the love feels loved (supported, validated, helped).
This scientific discovery is mind-boggling as it can help explain many issues that people face in their life. Reasons why people feel like they aren’t good enough or are depressed because they are all alone and no one seems to care. So below are some tips on how you can begin to heal your soul, find more enjoyment in your life, and create a world full of people who appreciate you for who you are.
Be Willing to Help as Long as it is Appreciated
This is a difficult concept for some, especially if you feel that your purpose is to help others, or need to be needed as it makes you feel important. Although these are amazing qualities, they can create a feeling of one-sidedness. The side of give, and not the two-way street of give and receive. Knowing and understanding your worth is the first step in finding others that will also appreciate your worth. Give to those that appreciate your worth first. Keep those people close.
Keep a Healthy Balance Between Giving and Receiving
Many givers tend to be poor receivers. You are usually willing to go above and beyond for everyone else, and then minimize your needs and don’t allow others to give to you. Sometimes you may go as far as say, “I don’t want to be a burden.” This is interesting, because you don’t ever feel a burden helping others, but magically asking for help in return is seen as a burden. If you notice this in your life, I highly recommended that you start finding some new people, ones that enjoy giving, to bring into your life. This idea also requires some self-reflection, as the imbalance feels so natural it does not seem out of balance.
Make Conscious Choices
If you find yourself saying, “Well I have to help, because no one else will.” This can make you feel trapped, as if you don’t have a choice in the matter, you HAVE to do it. This is not reality! We always have a choice… just sometimes the other choice is really unpleasant. On a side note, there is usually a reason why “no one else will,” and this problem is a problem for the one who needs help (or may think they don’t need help). Not the one helping. This is the difference between helping and doing it for them. Doing it for them is a form of enabling, which creates a cycle of continuing the problem not changing it. These situations show the other unpleasant choice of watching someone you care about fall on their face or struggle without being able to do anything to “help”. You can still engage in these situations, just don’t be surprised when you feel negative feelings when you’re the only one who would help and they don’t appreciate what you do.
Volunteer to Help People in Need
Volunteering to give some of your time to help others who are in need is a phenomenal way of filling yourself up with gratitude. It helps remind us of what we are grateful for having, and it is an opportunity to be refilled with gratitude from people who genuinely appreciate you gifts of time, money, items, and helping hand you are giving them. A wise woman I know always says, “Whenever I start feeling down, I do something to help someone else out, and then I don’t feel so bad because I remember what I have.”
Gratitude has more magical powers than we can define, and when we embrace this deeper meaning, we open ourselves up to receive the wonderful gives that life has to offer. If you find yourself looking for direction or help with making changes in your life, please reach out as I am here to help. For more information, to schedule a free consultation, or to contact me, please visit my website at www.crystaldeichert.com .