What is going on? What is happening? What am I doing? What should I be doing? These are common questions we ask ourselves when we feel lost. Sometimes being lost can feel like you are wandering around the desert, and other times it can feel like you have been swept up into the middle of a tornado. Both feel chaotic in their own way, but each offers an opportunity to become more empowered in our lives. We may not be able to control the storm, but we can always control ourselves in it. Below you will find some helpful tips on bringing clarity to what is important to you now and how this impacts who you want to be in future.
This can mean taking a closer look at your schedule and to-do activities, and then letting some go for the time being. It can also mean slowing your mind and body down. Learning to be still within. Either way scheduling some time to slow down and reflect on what is happening around you, will empower you to see the storm as though you are in the eye of the storm. Here it is calm while everything else swirls drastically around you. The power that comes from being in the eye of the storm and seeing the rest circle around you, is that it bring clarity to what you are seeing. When you can see the storm you are caught in, you are able to understand the areas of your life that are unbalanced.
Listen To Yourself
This seems so simple but can be so hard! We usually know the answer that is right for us, yet have a hard time hearing it. Allowing yourself to hear what your thoughts and feelings are, gives you the insight and information to know what is out of balance in your life. Learning what is out of balance is key to feeling more in control and empowered. You cannot fix what you cannot see. Listen and learn.
Be Honest With Yourself
Challenge yourself to honestly listen to your thoughts and feelings. Be aware of deflecting thoughts that blame others for what is happening in your life. As well as the amount of energy you feel you are putting out there versus the amount you feel you are receiving. Really focus on being non-bias and honestly hearing yourself. Allow yourself to accept this honest perception without judgment, guilt, or shame for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. For these throw you back into the storm and don’t provide clarity. Clarity is honestly seeing your thoughts, feelings, and actions, so that you can choose to continue with them or change them in accordance with what feels right to you now.
Observe Unpleasant Feelings
These are bound to come up. Without the unpleasant feelings, chaos cannot exist. Some common unpleasant feelings that tend to arise are feeling not good enough, feeling like you have to do more, feeling guilty or unworthy, feeling shame, fearing the unknown of what could happen or the what if’s, or feelings of disappointment either for letting someone else or yourself down. These are not the only unpleasant feelings, and whatever comes up for you is the correct one. Being aware of deeper hurts is also important. Such as feelings of abandonment, either for being abandoned or abandoning someone else during a time of need, and fears of death. By observing these unpleasant feelings, you empower yourself to regain control of your thoughts and feelings to ground yourself back into the present. Right now is the only time that we have the ability to control. We cannot control the past or the future, but we can control how we handle this moment in the present.
Honor What Feels Right
Once you have learned what is out of balance, the next step is bringing yourself back into balance. This requires you to honor your intuition. If something feels right, trust that it is right and what you need in the moment. Many times, when we are swept into chaos, it is because we feel the need to do more. More for others, more for work, more for the family, more to be relevant, etc. In reality the chaos we feel inside usually represents a lack of caring for ourselves and our needs. So, as you slow down and listen, honor what feels right for you. If this means increasing your self-care and meeting your needs, then make that your #1 priority. Click Here for a link to suggestions for practicing self-care.
Here is an example of how I have implemented these 5 steps in my own life. I was having a conversation with someone the other day about the Black Lives Matter movement, and their statements in return were more focused on political points of view. I began to find myself becoming frustrated and overwhelmed. After the conversation, I took some time to slow down, listen to myself, and be honest with myself. I found that the storm I was caught up in was the unpleasant feeling of helplessness. A feeling that I am not doing enough to make changes I would like see. The clarity I received was that I was putting the value on the struggle of fighting for what I believed in rather that placing the value in the education I am committed to providing to those that would like to listen. What I needed at that time was to focus my thoughts on the things that I have been doing to educate, as well as acknowledging the people and situations I have connected with to work toward the goals that are important to me.
By incorporating these 5 tips into your life, you will begin to notice a shift in the control you feel in your life. You feel free to float on the waves rather than battling to overpower the waves. If you continue to feel lost or caught in the chaos, please reach out for a free consult to see if I can help you find your clarity in the chaos!
Crystal Deichert LPC, of Positive Assist, offers a full suite of counseling and holistic services for those wishing to get unstuck and move forward in their lives. She is trained in several evidence-based modalities and holistic approaches to help her clients see their barriers through their soul’s perspective allowing them to break free and fly. If you’d like to discover your true self, you can schedule a free consultation at www.crystaldeichert.com, by calling 720.767.1994, or emailing [email protected]. Check me out on Facebook at Crystal Deichert LPC